Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
