I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
