yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
