I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
