It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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