It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
