dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
