also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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