i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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