It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
