cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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