My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize