my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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