i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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