her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
