try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
only if we run a train.
done.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
