Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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