i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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