I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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