woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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