I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
