Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
