You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You can't motorboat a personality
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
