so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize