im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
