I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
