Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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