That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
