And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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