cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
