STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Actions speak louder than pants.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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