Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
