Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
