i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
