Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
