Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
