i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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