My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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