Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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