mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
