Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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