yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
