In the future we'll all be gay
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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