He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
