But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Randomize
