I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize