4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
