John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
