She's JV to your varsity
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
