Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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