please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize