Do you still have your period?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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