i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize