Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
