They should really pass out barf bags in church
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
