I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
