The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
