Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
