Jerry, you need to find god
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
