Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
