i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
