Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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